Drowned
by Shadow.Holic
Summary: Placed six years later...Raven left the Titans for a reason...a reason that involves emotions she would rather not have. (Pairing: Starfire x Robin x Raven)


_**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Teen Titans, meaning the characters in this story. The plot, however, is mine._

This is my first Teen Titan fanfic...I haven't seen many episodes (The actual number is 2...) and read none of the comic, so if the characters seem OoC, try not to blame me...

_Italics_ are either things that happened in the past or thoughts.

* * *

**  
  
Drowned**

Her name is Raven.

Once it may have been something more, somewhere else, but now, it's simply Raven.

A flying bird landed in the wrong place.

Age? Does age matter when you have all the time you want? More, in fact.

A lady who was once a dumb teenager.

She never meant to make friends. She never meant to care for anyone so much. And she never meant to fall in love. It was stupid, but it happened.

And now it's time to suffer.

_  
_  
_The door to her room was bumped open, while she forced it so it only opens for her to look outside._

_"What is it, Robin?"_

_He's doesn't disturb her private a lot, so it must mean something. But then, with that smile on his face, it couldn't mean anything serious. So, what is it?_

_"Starfire and me are planning a Chiristmas Party!! Do you want to help?"_

_Pathetic, her thoughts became clear in one word._

_"No."  
_  
She could see how his eyes sparkled when he spoke Starfire's name. To him, it was where his greatest joy comes from...even if he's told nobody, the fact was clear for everyone to see. Yes, so Robin likes Starfire, a lot. Nothing special, right?  
  
_"Raven..." _

_She sighed, and opened a crack on the door._

_"What is it?" _

_Robin. Again. __This time eyes darting around, scared to be seen._

_"It's something I want to ask...well, since you see what people are thinking...I mean, I don't want to know everything, just..." _

_Words faded into none. Raven grew impatient._

_"What is it?" "Well...I like Starfire a lot, and I just want to know if, if she likes me or not?" _

_So he finally admits. And yet, while she should be happy for them, why does she feel a pang of jealousy?_

_"She does." _

_Slam. _That_ was the door.  
_  
She knew by that they are going to get together soon. But she never expected it to be _that_ soon.  
  
_Christmas Eve. The day to dread and prepare for a new year. To some, a day to celebrate._

_"Raven, come join the party!!" _

_His whole face glowed in the light. A request she could not refuse._

_Nothing abnormal happened at the party. Beastboy and Cyborg shouted and yelled, doing things she couldn't possibly think of. Robin and Starfire held hands during the whole time. Kissed a few times..._

_Jealous. Very, _very_ jealous. Not only is she jealous of Starfire, but also of their happiness. Then, she found out something she shouldn't have ever done...she's fallen in love with Wonder Boy. Oh great, she thought. And went back to her room without saying anything. _

_Nobody noticed._  
  
And nobody noticed that she's been pulling away since then. Faking what she knew and believed...  
  
_She watched their relationship progress. Painfully aware of everything, every bit of their connection. More and more, she meditates alone, afraid to lose control. She never did, till that day.  
  
"Oh Raven, we bought a gift for you!" _

_Starfire cried outside her door. Why do people always, _always_ seem to interrupt? And she said we...must be meaning Robin._

_The door opened._

_"We went shopping together, and bought...this!" _

_She held a tiny box in her hands, like a precious thing someone wants to cherish. Whatever it was, she doesn't want it._

_"What for?" _

_"As a gift for you, of course! Robin chose it, I only paid for it." _

_Raven looked at Robin curiously. His face showed a smile, but nothing else. What could it be... She took the box, and opened it. Inside was a necklace, held together by steel chains. At the end, a silver bird held on the chain, it's eyes made out of gold...A bird, for Raven. _

_"Come on, try it on!" Starfire put it on for her, as she watched it dangle on her neck. Robin watched the whole scene without saying a word, smile still on and guard high.  
  
Was he mocking her? The possibility is small, but not zero. If he found out about her feelings, and decided to toy with her for the fun of it...no. She would not let that happen.  
  
The feeling of anger that night...it was almost unbearable. Many things in her room exploded, and she felt herself unable to control whatever is it inside her. It is time to go, after all...she could stay no longer. Not with all the extra emotion...  
  
She kept the necklace. Somehow, the bird catches her attention.  
_  
More and more, she walks in the night. Things just don't turn out the way you want them, but you have to adjust...  
  
_Five years after she left the Titans, she heard the news..._

_'Our favorite Titan couple, Robin and Starfire, is getting engaged!! Due to a few troubles lately, the party has been delayed, but now, we may all have a chance to look at them! We will continue to report to you at exactly six o'clock at night.' _

_One thought stuck in Raven's head-**How dare they?!** She was their friend, their ally...and they didn't invite her?!_

_The window of the shop beside her crushed. The clerk rushed our, shouting "What happened!" and telling her to stop walking. She used her powers to levitate the poor guy._

_"Don't. Make. Me. Mad." _

_Some other person rushed to the phone, and the same thing happened to her. Another guy, however, succeeded in calling for help._

_"Stop right there, you...Raven?" _

_Hello dear Robin..._

_"Raven, please stop! Or I'll have to..." _

_"Have to what, attack me?" _

_Robin flinched, but Raven smiled._

_"I thought you'll be preparing for your engagement party. You know, the one you didn't invite me to." _

_She let the other humans go. They ran off, leaving Robin alone with Raven._

_"I..." Robin found no words to say. __He had a reason, but with Raven looking at him this way..._

_"Did you forget how to talk? I didn't notice you've became mute in the six years we haven't met." _

_"I can't." _

_Raven didn't expect that._

_What-?_

_"You can't?" _

_She just blurted that out. No thought came out with it. Why is it that she still can't think when Robin is around...? And she tried so hard to forget..._

_"I...listen to me, alright?" _

_His tone seemed so kind, so understanding..._

_No, I mustn't..._

_"Fine, but make it quick." _

_He looked uneasy, but started._

_"Five years ago...Starfire and I bought a necklace for you, remember?" _

_"Yes," and it stayed with me always._

_"Well...after that, you left without warning. We tried to find you, but couldn't...We came up with the conclusion that you don't want to be found, so we left you alone. I...I blamed myself...I thought that your disappearance has something to do with the necklace, which is the one I chose...I still blame myself..." _

_No. No, don't...please don't..._

_An explosion could be heard not far away._

_"I...we missed you. All of us...Starfire cried so much..." _

_Stop. Please stop._

_"Get on with it!" _

_Robin looked stunned. The Raven he knew had long been gone...or had she?_

_"We...we tried to send you some money in case you can't find a job yet...or don't know what to do yet..." _

_A tiny little voice smirked in Raven's head, 'He doesn't know what you do for a living' does he?' _

_"Shut up, shut **up**!!!" _

_A row of glass windows exploded. People who were watching them ran away, some screaming._

_Robin didn't know how to handle all this. When he saw Raven, he only expected her to be accidentally out of control. He thought that a small talk with her would be fine. But the way she looks at him...somehow, he feared that look. The look that haunts his dream...'You are the one to blame...you are the one that made me have to leave...' _

_He looked up, eyes wide, until he realized that Raven hadn't moved her mouth at all._

_Get a grip of yourself, Robin!_

_"I do not need money." _

_"We guessed that. And so...we stopped trying to have any contact with you, moving on to our lives...Soon Starfire and I decided to engage with each other. At first, we wanted you to come. We tried to find you, but I guess you're too good at hiding...we couldn't find you anywhere. Soon I persuaded Starfire to give up, since I don't want to waste-I mean spend...so much time finding you. It's not fair...we spend so much time trying to get in contact with you, while you just go on living your own life..." _

_Raven did not hear the last part. Her mind is filled with the word 'waste'..._

_You heard him, didn't you? He didn't want to _waste_ time on you...you shouldn't have listened to him...you should've just run away..._

_"I...I tried to understand what you might be feeling...but I couldn't...And well...the last reason is...I was afraid that..." _

_"That I'll lost my control and ruin your party?" _

_Her tone was harsh, but she didn't care to change it. Robin looked stunned._

_How did she know...? I...I did feel that way...But I was sure I kept my guards high! And I do want her to join..._

_"Raven..." _

_"Shut. Up." _

_Robin took something out of his pocket._

_"This is your invitation..." _

_Raven took it. It was printed out of a computer, and has her name on it..._

_He _did_ want you to join...he just can't find you..._You_ never gave_ him _the chance to find you..._

_Or maybe, this is just another lie?_

_"Take it back." _

_She held it out._

_"No, Raven you have to..." _

_"Take it!!!" _

_She used her powers to stuff it into Robin's left hand, while jumping back, things exploding along her. A distance from the ground, she teleported..._

_"Wait, Ra-"_

_  
_  
That was the last time she saw Robin...or any of the Titans, actually. Another year has passed since then...  
  
Raven stood in front of a wooden table, with a mirror hanging over it. There are no windows in the room, and the single metal door is the only way out. A light bulb hung in the air, bringing dim light to the moisture environment. Raven stood there, in deep thoughts.

_Azarath metrion zinthos..._

The bird-shape ornament stayed still on Raven's chest, while she chanted slowly...

A loud_ 'Bang!'_ could be heard outside. She looked at her necklace, and wrapped her fingers around it.

_This is the last evidence that you've had anything to do with the Teen Titans..._

She gently began to pull it up, letting it slide through her hair and off her neck. Her fingers let go of it, letting it lay on the table. Her eyes locked on it.

"Azarath metrion zinthos..."

The silver exploded, leaving broken parts on the table and the floor. Raven's eyes showed no emotion, but simply looked at it...  
  
_Don't ever let me feel the pain again...let me forget...forget my emotions..._  
  
The mirror shattered to a thousand pieces.

* * *

Okay, done!! 

I know, I haven't answered a lot of questions...like 'What in the world does Raven do as a job' and 'What is that room??'...Lots more questions, I think...I'm not answering them, though. Well, unless I suddenly decided to continue this fic...(Which is probably never, I'm a lazy person...)

However, if I _do_ continue this, the pairing will probably be Robin/Raven only...

_--Simply Digital_


End file.
